I will never vacuum more. Fact. And the curtains are fine as they are because when I need to do some naked mom dancing—yes, naked, wobbly and so bad it is genius—then I can close out the world. That’s all I need. … More Whoever Invented The Inner Critic Needs A Kick In The Head.
I’ll never forget it. My brother and I were waiting for our mother to finish shopping and this older guy said, “Can I help you boys?” I was not a boy! Yes I had a short pageboy haircut but so did my brother; it was 1978. I was outraged. But I wasn’t brave enough to say … More Yes, he’s wearing heels. Get over it.
I walked into NZ Fashion Week feeling like a fraud. I didn’t even have interesting shoes on. Aside from red lips there was nothing haute couture about me. More haute boring. Having forgotten all about my tickets to Eugénie, I’d dressed that day in shabby office, which is a little known category I’ve been cultivating since … More The Only Fashion To Wear Is Not Care.
Recently I listened to Alisa Vitti’s TED talk about women’s monthly cycles and it blew my fallopian tubes apart. It shocked me so much I shared it on Facebook. It got six likes. God, I am such an influencer. But this is such a winning idea I need to share it again as I’ve had it … More Writer’s block? It could be your ovaries, try sorting the spice rack instead.
Feminists don’t go to Eminem concerts because he does not say good things about women. Nor do Feminists speak softy. Or watch porn. And they certainly don’t yell cunt at other stupid drivers on the motorway. I can’t be a Feminist because I’ve done all these things. Sometimes I wind the window down. Here are … More Since When Did I Become A Bad Feminist?
Wine makes life more exciting. The taste, the boisterous conversations, the unbuttoning of inhibitions, and the superior dance moves. Then there’s cooking with wine—as my Great Aunt Hazel likes to say, “one glass for the meal, one for the chef!” These were my thoughts in April as I battled the idea of giving up for a month. You see, I’m not … More To Wine Or Not To Wine. That Is My Question.
Dear Special K, When I was growing up my Mum loved you. She was the kind of woman who fancied herself in a red swimsuit. One piece of course. But sadly she battled her body most of her life and she never got that swimsuit body. You knew for years that it’s not sex that … More I Don’t Want My Daughter To Be Pretty. I Want Her To Be Pretty Smart.
I used to think Glass Half Empty thinking created an empty, negative life but lately I’ve been thinking that’s a load of bollocks. … More What If The Pessimists Are Right?
Last year, Paula Penfold asked me to share my bulimia story for a TV show and I said, “Sure, but do I have to tell my story? How about I help find other people’s stories.” That felt better. I didn’t want my story put up for people to rip down, especially on national television. Recently I went … More The Worst Diet Ever Invented Is About To Get Its Ass Kicked.
I get it. Showing a hint of breast gets attention. You certainly got my attention because I love breasts, I have a couple myself. And you probably didn’t want to show a full breast as you knew you’d get slammed so you went for the underdeveloped one. That breast and girl are so young, so … More News Flash! Nymphs Are Out, Strong Is The New Beautiful.
People comment about how old women look all the time, “Oooh she’s aged.” As if getting older is something we should sort out. As if it’s a failure on our part. Crikey, not the dreaded oldness! Not the ageing and passing of time. Why are you not doing something about that? It’s OK to get wiser but please don’t … More Oh Puhlease, Not The 45-Year-Old Selfie. Yuck.
“You’re not my soul mate!” That was the line that stopped the party. My friend looked at her husband and smiled, while we all held our breath. If he wasn’t her soul mate then who the feck was? “I have many soul mates,” she said. “You’re my mating mate!” We all breathed a sigh of … More Can We Please Stop Talking About Soul Mates?