I Never Thought A Mother And Son High Tea Would Actually Get Me High.

How high is a High Tea I’d ask the Dimple? Would we enter another realm of consciousness and see that us mothers are all mere dust full of spinning electrons and protons floating through an ever-expanding universe? Would we be entertained by a witty speaker and feel a little high after fits of laughter? Or … More I Never Thought A Mother And Son High Tea Would Actually Get Me High.

Nobody Mentioned That Having A Boy Means Your Heart Gets Permanently Beaten Up.

Suddenly, two weeks into Intermediate School and I’m full of questions. What do you do in form room? How many boys in the class? How long is morning tea? It’s interval now Mum. “OK, how long is interval then? Are the big boys friendly?” Not that I want to know if they’re not. He doesn’t … More Nobody Mentioned That Having A Boy Means Your Heart Gets Permanently Beaten Up.

What I Would Tell My Teenage Self About Saying No!

Sometimes, when someone wants to do something physical and you’re not ready to, you’ll feel scared so you’ll say no and they’ll tell you you’re lame. They might call you frigid. They might call you tight. Well, screw them! (I mean, not literally… you know what I mean). Here’s what you need to know… … More What I Would Tell My Teenage Self About Saying No!

Are You A Useless Cook? Well, Punch The Air Darhling, The World Needs You.

Your kids might ask for a cake from Pak N Save every birthday but you’re not a bad mother. You’re just a baddass woman who doesn’t cook like Lucy Lawless, Ariana Huffington, and my friend Claire. And you’re a vital member of the social ecosystem. … More Are You A Useless Cook? Well, Punch The Air Darhling, The World Needs You.

If Unconditional Love Came In A Pill We’d All Be Incredible

Oscar Wilde said once that children begin by loving their parents and after a time they judge them and “rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.” Sometimes I wonder what my children will complain about to a therapist later because there will be something I do that drives them nuts. No matter how much we … More If Unconditional Love Came In A Pill We’d All Be Incredible

The Cabin

When you die, Mummy, we’re going to put you in bags and eat you,” said our four-year-old. He had just seen what happened to the pigs: they arrive, we feed them, they die and come back in small packages labeled Chops, Ribs and Jowls. After seeing a dead fox last week Bob’s been obsessed with … More The Cabin