I Never Thought A Mother And Son High Tea Would Actually Get Me High.

How high is a High Tea I’d ask the Dimple? Would we enter another realm of consciousness and see that us mothers are all mere dust full of spinning electrons and protons floating through an ever-expanding universe? Would we be entertained by a witty speaker and feel a little high after fits of laughter? Or … More I Never Thought A Mother And Son High Tea Would Actually Get Me High.

Are You A Useless Cook? Well, Punch The Air Darhling, The World Needs You.

Your kids might ask for a cake from Pak N Save every birthday but you’re not a bad mother. You’re just a baddass woman who doesn’t cook like Lucy Lawless, Ariana Huffington, and my friend Claire. And you’re a vital member of the social ecosystem. … More Are You A Useless Cook? Well, Punch The Air Darhling, The World Needs You.

Oh Yes I Masturbate. Said No Mother Ever.

For mothers, if you mention ménage à moi at a party, even if you’re talking about the benefits of increased circulation, reduced stress, good complexion and an energized system, people look at you like you’ve got no knickers on… Suddenly, once you’ve sexed your way into a baby, you’re not sexy if you talk about masturbation, you’re just a little bit weird. … More Oh Yes I Masturbate. Said No Mother Ever.

Sons. They Don’t Hold Your Hand For Very Long But They Always Hold Your Heart.*

An ex-lover asked me the other day what it was like having children. It’s so tempting to screw with people before they become parents–just mentioning ripped perineum or baggy labia can put them off for years. I managed to contain myself. “I never knew I could feel such extreme love AND irritation,” I told him. … More Sons. They Don’t Hold Your Hand For Very Long But They Always Hold Your Heart.*