Hey you. I am at Camp America, just like you thought. Except extract the rich kids and input ghetto kids in your imagination. These children come from tough worlds; one girl was sent home because of bullying and was picked up in her father’s SUV that had just been nailed with 18 bullet holes. Most have never been near a tree in their life. Not that I can really contribute; I tried to set up dinner in the mess hall but the Toddler licked the salt containers and the ‘Dactyl put milk in the water jugs so I got the hint, it’s more helpful if we don’t help.
This morning, walking into camp, we passed the Camp Director who said she was racing to a team meeting. Then we passed the Dimple on his digger and he yelled he was late for a maintenance meeting. No bother, I thought loudly in return. We have back-to-back meetings too.
First we marched up to a place called First Landing and discussed the possibility of meeting a family of foxes that sounded like George Clooney. The ‘Dactyl agreed anything was possible with DAH. The Toddler demonstrated how to find a fox in a hole with a stick. Next was a quick HR meeting – always dramatic and emotional – as the Toddler wanted to go That Way and I wanted to go This Way. A surprise visit from a swarm of mozzies settled it. The Husbando joined us for our lunch meeting in the mess hall and dropped a non-agenda item into the mix – Black Widows are not the most lethal spiders, it’s the Brown Recluse to be wary of. I thanked him for his positive contribution; brown spiders in the brown woods should be dead easy to spot. Then we sped home in the stifling heat as the ‘Dactyl had a meeting with fluffy bee in bed. The Toddler had a small meeting with Bob the Builder (I lasted six days without turning the TV on).
During the afternoon we brainstormed other items Hansel and Gretel could drop in the forest, the Toddler suggested poos and the ‘Dactyl suggested DAH. A spontaneous team-building trip to the river was suggested, however the Toddler managed to touch Poison Oak so the entire team sprinted home and he was doused in Tecnu. He was not buying my suggestion a cold shower was anything like the river. The rest of the afternoon was spent inside playing Climb On Mum as outside felt a bit dangerous. Dinner wasn’t really a meeting, more of a debate over the merits of coleslaw with the Toddler, while the ‘Dactyl smeared her stewed apricots into my mashed potatoes. I reiterated how much easier it would be having a high chair in the dinner hall and put it on tomorrow’s agenda.
Next time you’re in a boring meeting, think of me, wishing I could be in a boring meeting with adults for just an hour, every now and then.
PS The Dimple is working from 8 am until 10 pm or later, every day, but only eight weeks of camp to go. Then, he tells me, we will have so much time together I’ll get really sick of him. Excellent, can’t wait.